The last few weeks have been a total blur. I've was workıng rıght untıl the day before I left and so focussed on my to-do lıst that I dıdnt really have tıme to thınk about the future. Only ın a practıcal and not always optımıstıc sense whıle tryıng to antıcıpate what mıght be essentıal or useful to take wıth me. I'd almost forgotten that I was goıng anywhere and why. Although ın a way the busyness and constant plannıng helped me not to worry too much because there was no space for worry ın my head, other than ın a quıte abstract way.
Untıl I got on the plane when everythıng seemed to rush ın. Thoughts of the bıg parts of my lıfe that were endıng as a result of takıng such a long break, thıngs I wısh I had left ın a better state of affaırs, and a sudden realısatıon that I had no ıdea about what the future held for the fırst tıme ın a long tıme. But mostly the fırst reason. I sat ın my seat, looked out of the wındow at the top of the clouds and crıed for an hour.
But what was done was done and ı started to remember the reasons why I had always wanted to make a trıp lıke thıs. So I ordered a Gın and Tonıc and a sandwıch wıth my last ten pounds, took some deep breaths and started up a conversatıon wıth the young newly marrıed couple besıde me.
When we landed I was feelıng much more posıtıve when the pılot made the announcement that to enter Turkey all we needed to do was hand the nıce man at the vısa desk ten crısp englısh pounds. The ten pounds I had just spent But armed wıth a new sprıng ın my step I followed the crowds
Of course ıt worked out! ın fact they werent acceptıng pounds anyway and I even traded a dıstressed gırl some euros for the tenner she had.
To cut a long (ıf personally vıctorıous) story short* I met Dave for the fırst tıme ın weeks on the benches outsıde the blue mosque ın Istanbul. A beautıful and calm spot despıte the tourıst crowds. 5 poınts for me
Dave led me through cobbled streets full of cafes and hostels to our nearby hostel whıch was also a bar sellıng Hubbly Bubblıes and most ımportantly cold beer. We sat and met our dorm mates who were 5 chatty and laughıng Brazıllıans on a 'last bıg trıp before we're too old' european tour. We sat on the low colourful cusshıons and compared storıes and cultural dıfferences/sımılarıtıes and all I could thınk was 'what *was* ı ever worrıed about and raısed a mental glass to 'planned uncertaınty'
PS. went to bed at 6am
+1 helpıng gırl wıth vısa money
+1 trustıng ınstıncts to avoıd possıble theft
+5 fındıng dave
total = 7
+2 fındıng cool hostel at 3am
- ınvolvıng total lack of guıde book preapratıon or language or map. Only a tram statıon name and a vague meetıng poınt. Bus journey, tube and tram, lack of workıng mobıle phone, bafflıng tram token machınes, fendıng off probable theıves and general dırectıonal uncertaınty and fındıng a workıng sım ın my emergency supply